


The birth of a Nexus

by AceLucky



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Angst, Dead Bodies Everywhere, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fear, First Time, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi, Longing, Nexus - Freeform, One Shot, Outer Space, Romance, Sex, Sith, The force is strong with these two, connection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 09:24:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13587138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceLucky/pseuds/AceLucky
Summary: On board the Supremacy, deep in the heart of Snoke's Throne Room, Rey and Kylo Ren are left in the wake of destruction, lost and afraid of what their next step is. Rey believes there is a way to win Kylo over and bring him home. More than just a connection of the mind ensues, obviously.





	The birth of a Nexus

**Author's Note:**

> A few brief things, firstly, this is the first fic I have written in a while, it's also the first Star Wars fic I've written so please go easy on me!
> 
> I originally planned to make this a much longer story and it wasn't going to get to the 'mature/explicit' scenes this quickly at all, it almost feels a cop-out to me to write it like this. But I got carried away and due to work I don't have much time to work on creative writing. So for now, this is a one-shot, but in time I may re-write the end and turn this into chapter 1 etc. I have ideas of where this can go, but we'll have to see!

Beat. A moment, as the flames and sparks raged on, there was a breath where they froze, became aware not only of their own loneliness, but of each other’s. Beat, his hand, gloved, moving towards her, both knowing physical contact isn’t needed and yet. Yet maybe physical contact is what is needed to make this real, it’s what they have both have desired. 

She closes her eyes, afraid of what she’ll see, forgetting in that moment that her eyes are always open to him. The backdrop is bleeding and outside the glass the world expands ever on, stars in their thousands watch as the two feel their hearts beating and stop breathing.

No matter her feelings, she had to remember what drove her, the mission, the mother who had lost her son. No one is truly evil she mused, but then the same must be said for the other side of the coin, no one is truly good. The words stung, the truth made her look up, remember him, what was it Luke had seen in her that terrified him so much? Balance though, that was what Luke had meant, a balance between light and dark. As she remembered his first lesson she allowed her eyes to linger on Ben, watch as he stood as still as her, awaiting the other’s move. 

“You’re not alone…”

“Neither are you.”

As the words sunk in, a strange, unfamiliar warmth spread over Rey.

“There’s a way….A way we never need to be alone again,” he muttered, he’d moved closer to her but she hadn’t noticed.

“I….Ben I can’t.” She took a step back.

“Why… you know the connection, that wasn't Snoke, I don’t believe it.” He said, raising his voice a little now, almost to convince himself that what he was saying was true. 

“Your hubris nature portrays you,” she retorted as she looked down at the floor, unable to look him in the eyes, knowing how much it would hurt. 

Her words cut like a knife, that wasn't it… how was it that she couldn’t see? Everything had to end, first comes darkness before the dawn. It was necessary for a new age to come…and he needed her by his side. There had to be balance, everything he had done was for balance, not for good nor evil. He knew his fate, knew his place in the Universe. The only way the suffering and fighting would end is if they joined forces, or if…

Their minds connected in that moment and she saw him, like a flash, the black cloud that hung over him and darkest thoughts that penetrated his mind. And in the middle of it all, a family long gone, hope he had never known and death. She and he, side by side, a pact to end this once for all, and still the fire raged on around them. 

Snoke’s body was still, it would be cold soon, had she not dreamed of this moment too? It had been easy for Ben to kill him, so easy that she wondered perhaps if this was not the last they would see of the supreme leader. She looked at Ben, would he want to stay here now and rule? Could he be so easily won or lost?

She reached out to him, determination was in her very nature, she’d lost her parents… She had no idea who remained of the resistance, but Ben, she wouldn't loose him to darkness. The sorrow in his eyes, the desperation begun to split her, tear her in two, as the conflict tore at her soul.

She waited for him to touch her, he didn’t but held his hand out and closed his eyes. They were touching, only they weren’t, not physically, they'd become a part of one another. 

Electricity, that was what it felt like, a spark shot between them.They both gasped, a moment of hot searing pain and then a low, barely audible moan, release, a smile flickering on the corners of the cracked lips of lost souls. Her hands caressed the air around her, feeling something certain for once. 

“Not alone,” she whispered, feeling the warmth envelope her once again. 

She saw him smile, knew she couldn’t be imagining this, he was smiling for the first time in years, and it wasn’t cruel or manipulative. His expression radiated purity. 

An island, they could live on an island, amongst many birds, creatures, the flowers that bloomed in season. Life and death. They could live out their days there. Just a fantasy Rey, it’s just a fantasy. Her minds eye wouldn’t let her forget him though, Finn…even the droid BB-8 and of course Leia, if she concentrated hard enough she could feel her heart beat still. 

Kylo stepped forward, though his eyes were closed he could feel her, her presence, knew exactly where to touch. It was wrong, he knew it was wrong, General Hux could storm in at any minute now, there would be so many questions but he didn’t care, all that mattered was him and the girl. 

He cupped her cheek, on contact she was unable to hold back, the tears formed in her eyes as the kindness observed by his touch overwhelmed her. Never had she known such a pull, a force greater than any dream, ambition or desire. The fear that it would cloud her judgement was there, ever present at the back of her mind, but also she was rendered unable to move.

“You are not alone,” he repeated, every word a sting straight into the heart of what she so far knew to be true. The equilibrium shattered, distorted. His words were soft, far softer than she had imagined he could be. 

“Ben,” she let it slip, like a mouse under the door, unnoticed into the night by all except for a cat, a hunter. Except for someone who was already looking for something, what was Kylo looking for?

“We need to settle this, together we could,” he stopped talking, in a moment afraid his words would push her away, that mistakes of the past would be repeated. All the work they had done to gain trust would be undone in a flash. 

“Help me,” he urged instead.

She took a further step back, her lip trembled as she spoke, “That’s what you asked of your father.”

The spell broken momentarily, he bit down on his lower lip, unable to look her in the eye, “You don’t understand.”

“No, it is you who doesn't understand.”

He looked hurt, “Rey, please, we met for a reason. What happened between Han Solo and I, only he knows, only he understands.”

Rey shook her head, fighting all the strings that would pull her into his open arms, “No, Ben I came here to take you back with me, to help us restore peace. I came to bring you back to your mother.”

Ben opened his mouth but when he spoke he found he was only able to stutter, lips trembling again, his eyes pooling with tears at the mention of that word, ‘mother’. 

He shook his head, “Don’t, don’t do that…not now, please.” He begged.

She didn’t see evil in him, she almost understood his words…it was what Luke had wanted wasn’t it? 

“I….” Her voice quivered in response, she knew she only had moments before she would have to leave. There was little time to argue or try to win him back.

She clenched her fists and ran forward throwing her arms around him, “Please Ben, please don’t do this, don’t stay here, come home…Come home with me.”

 

They stood in silence, just for a brief second, a wrinkle in time, after the initial shock, he too had wrapped his arms around her. Held her tightly, aware of the sound of his own heart beating as he relaxed completely. 

They both slowly pulled away from the embrace, but not completely, their eyes met again as they leant forward, bowed so their foreheads pressed together. Eyes squeezed tightly shut they saw it all. Opened themselves up to the other, nothing censored or hidden, pure and naked as the day they were born. 

He saw her running through a field of long grasses, sun in her hair, wearing nothing but a plain white dress. Barefoot she laughed and waved at a figure across the lake. 

“I’m in trouble,” he whispered into her neck. He felt his desire for power slip away and all the power he had gained, was in it’s dying throes, a star burning out on it’s way to oblivion. 

Perspiration was forming on her brow, the hairs on her neck and down her spine were standing up at the mere sound of his voice. His lips nearly brushed her skin they were so close. Red and full, she hadn’t failed to notice. 

She ran the pad of her index finger along his scar, the one she had caused and felt a deep ache, not just regret, nor shame, but as if she felt the physical ache, dull and unrelenting. 

The words were there, on the tip of her tongue, ready to roll off. There was a desire that had burnt deep inside, not for power, no… Something else, something she knew was in all, yet no one had ever spoken to her about it. It will consume you, she found herself thinking. She feared the darkness, not so much the pull to the dark, she could cope with the long nights, the black for she was never blind. No, it was the loneliness, being alone was what ate away at her.

The desire was one never fully realised, the only time she had come close was alone at night, underneath the covers where no one could see the untouched places where her hands ventured. But now, with his mouth so close, her heart racing, hands trembling on his hip without realising how they had gotten there. 

When his lips met hers she froze, his touch sent images of mountains high and oceans deep, all penetrating her mind in a moment. 

“I’m so broken,” he muttered, the confession had been easier to say than he had imagined it would be. It tumbled from his lips, words felt safe when muttered into her skin. 

When he broke away, he stayed close so when she spoke her lips brushed his, tickled and tingled with want. “Ben…”

He didn’t correct her, Ben had been his name, once… But if he got the girl, he would happily be Ben once again.

She hadn’t kissed him back, not yet but she knew what it would mean if she did. There was no going back. The world could burn around them, stars spanning to infinity, all that death and sorrow. But inside one another they could forget the world…forget, how could she could forget her friends, they were in trouble.

“Take my hand and together we can rule the galaxy.”

She had tasted it now, the freedom, love, the need to be wanted. This feeling, she couldn’t decide whether it was destiny or would prove to be ephemeral. It would be hard to turn her back on him, but still the expression on Leia’s face stayed with her. Dying hope, but hope nonetheless, in her. All those lives had put their faith in her, trusted her with their life, were they worth so little that she could throw it all away?

“Ben…I can’t,” she took a step back, “Leia, the others…my friends, I cannot abandon them now.” Her voice was so sure and certain of herself. 

“Rey, rule by my side, please.” He paused, unsure of how to keep her. “Please don’t leave me,” the repetition of the plea, his lip was trembling, water sparkled in his deep eyes. His head tilted to one side, pride diminished, honesty was all that shone now.

“I can’t just abandon them,” she stuttered.

She held her arm to her chest, “But…” there was something inside her, a string tugging, something that told her maybe Ben was right. Maybe it was time to let old dreams die, let a new world be born. Perhaps the only way for balance in the force was to forget both the Jedi and the Sith…

She took a moment to breathe and closed her eyes, she reached out, into the void, to all the stars. Ben’s ideal was what Luke Skywalker had spoke of, the force didn’t belong to any one… it existed, it was the Universe.

But when Ben said it, was it still the power he craved.

“How do you know what love is?”

“Because I know what hate is.”

The silence stretched out, separating them as he confessed the truth. 

He reached out to her, “They’re not so different!”

“No…. I.”

There was something out there with her, though her eyes were shut she felt something, all the hairs on her skin stood on edge, a presence had joined her thoughts. She reached outwards, as he did the same, eyes closed they found each other and embraced.

She rested her head on his shoulder, “I have to go, you know that…I’ll take you with me…take you home.”

“If you go, will you give me one thing?” He asked timidly. 

“Anything,” and she wished she hadn’t said it the moment the words fell from her lips. The thing he desired more than anything was what would pull them closer together. She had seen it in his visions, knew that what his heart craved, matched her own dark desires. 

His kiss then consumed her, the point of no return had been reached as his lips crashed over hers, her hands eager with want. Seconds passed, fluttering of eyelashes, nervous undressing and clothes scattered around them beside the bodies of the dead. 

As he lay Rey down he took a final look at Snoke’s dead body, the half that remained on the throne suddenly slid to the floor. He winced remembering all the abuse, the years of torture that the monster had caused him.

The floor was cold, she did not fail to notice, but when Ben climbed onto her, she forgot the prickling against her skin.

The smile she would all but die to see, this is how we save the Universe. It wasn’t right, it wasn't meant to be, they were both too hurt, too reliant on one another to save the other. But it felt pure, she was convinced if she gave herself to him, if they could stop living in the past and worrying about the future, if they could just be. Beat. a moment. If they stopped for one moment, a living organism, one inside the other, connected from the core of the earth to the furthest reaches of the Universe. A bond could be made and never broken, they could fix this if only they believed.

“Ben,” she whispered into his neck as his black hair tumbled around his face.

“Rey, is this what you want? I need to hear you say it.”

“You said you could take anything from me,” she replied firmly.

“No, not this, I would never take this unless you wanted me to, it is not mine to steal.”

“It’s not stealing if someone hands it to you, freely, a gift.” She spoke softly as she lay her head back down on the floor and looked up at him.

“It’s okay Ben, we’re ready.”

His eyes portrayed the fear that he was feeling, the way he cocked his head to the side, the way his chest rose and fell as he pushed into her. A gasp that could have lasted forever. 

The heat that surged through both their bodies, connected them in a way neither had imagined possible. Every fantasy, every last hope came into realisation as Ben wrapped his arms around Rey.

“I will keep you safe, no one will hurt you again, I promise.”

When he slipped inside her, she gritted her teeth, her hands were clinging onto him, squeezing the muscles in his arms, “Ben…” She moaned as he stopped moving for a moment to kiss her.

He moved slow and gentle, careful not to hurt her, longing to feel everything. When he wasn’t kissing her he was stroking her hair and staring into her eyes, afraid to blink, that he would miss something.

Rey lifted her hips up to meet his and wrapped her arms tighter around him, he felt her clench against his skin and let out a soft guttural moan. 

For one moment she imagined what Luke would say, was this a betrayal? But the look in Ben’s eyes, it wasn’t pain anymore, or fear, he looked, at home… They were at home when they were in each others arms, this was home.

Ben increased his pace and built up a steady rhythm. Rey bit her bottom lip as she could feel him getting close. He moved one hand down between her legs, glove still on and she let out a slow surprised gasp. 

It was only when they reached climax, when she saw stars that she realised the presence of another. Leia was gazing up at the sky from a mineral planet, Leia had felt it too, knew that the woman she had trusted with the survival of the Resistance had joined forces with the enemy, with her son. 

Her head pounded, sparks flew as she heard them, as she felt the ground move beneath her when the two most powerful joined. Tears welled in her eyes as she clasped a hand to her heart, faintness overcame her and she dropped to the salty earth. 

Poe ran over to her, “General!” 

He knelt beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “You’re so cold.”

“We’ve lost them.”

Poe looked at Leia questioningly, “What? Who?”

“Rey….and Kylo…They are lost to one another.” She fought to hold back the tears.

“No,” a voice echoed through space.

Leia looked up, “Rey?”

She closed her eyes and felt outwards, she saw her, Rey was smiling, it wasn’t the destruction she had imagined. And her son, Kylo Ren….No, Ben was with her, curled up in one another’s arms.

“I had to do this,” Rey spoke to Leia.

“Mother…” Ben said aloud sensing her presence.

The nexus had opened.


End file.
